The Usual

NOTE: I know this blog is turning kind of cynical, but I haven't gone crazy (too crazy) and I'm just trying to be honest about this whole experience. I also take everything with a grain of salt. I complain a lot because I write when I'm frustrated and less so when I'm happy. So, here you have it. Additionally, I'm home

December 20th through January 6th. Plan accordingly.
So everything was going pretty well until this week. (Sorry, this is probably a paraphrase of what I say every week, but I continue to feel similarly). The last few days have been hellish, aside from the fact that the heat has returned, and I'm frustrated as usual. First of all, my women's group plans were pretty much destroyed for the week. Tuesday I was supposed to meet with my health promoter, Wednesday we were supposed to hand out invitations, and Thursday we were supposed to have our first meeting with the women. Fail.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet with my health promoter to go over preparations for our first women’s group meeting, as mentioned. Mind you, she had nothing she needed to do for this meeting, but show up and look at MY preparations. I called her earlier in the day to verify that she would be coming to meet me, but she didn't answer. Of course she didn't call back. So, at the time of our meeting I called again. She answered this time and told me she didn't call me back because she didn't have my number...suddenly. Well, then how did you know it was me? Ugh. Anyway, she proceeded to tell me she couldn't meet me and further she couldn't attend the women’s group meeting on Thursday. In response, I suggested we make similar plans for the following week; we are now supposed to meet this Thursday to discuss plans for the group meeting next Wednesday. There are few problems with this whole situation. One, she wasn't doing anything at the moment on Tuesday and all I wanted her to do was look over the preparations that I made. Two, we are meeting at the same time the women’s group was to take place this Thursday for our preparation discussion. She couldn't do the group meeting, but can meet with me? I basically deduced that the "other work" she had that day was NOT at the time of our meeting, even though that's what she said, she simply did not do more work that day. Ugh. This is how this country works. There's always some excuse and some round-about way of saying it. I mean, she works everyday and told me it would be fine before, so what's the problem? Whatever, I have to keep trying.

Possible solution: I could just do this on my own, but that's not the point. For one, she is my official counterpart, the local professional who Peace Corps tells us to work with. She came to the capital and everything to meet me before I was sworn in. Another thing, this would be the first time we would be working together on something and I was actually excited cause hey, we're in the same field of work here. I thought she was a little more reliable though. Also, the idea of me being here is to work WITH the people and create sustainable work. If I create a women's group alone, it will fall apart when I leave, but if I have a local professional involved, the capacity building part of this whole exercise is still in tact. Hence, I want to make an effort to work with her on this. Besides, she has good insight on how these women work and what methods are appropriate for the discourse of this group.

To continue, the conversation I had with my health promoter yesterday (by the way her name is Elba) proceeded to worsen when I asked if she would be coming to our monthly ADESCO meeting that afternoon. She to told we weren't having it. Of course not. Why didn't anyone tell me? Well, for the same reason I'm not told anything else here. LACK OF COMMUNICATION AT EVERY LEVEL.

And here's the thing, yet again, I have to beg and plead for people to work with me in this community and even then they flake. I was put here because the community needed and WANTED help. So much for the want. Ah, the developing world. At least I'm learning a lot about it.

So far this whole experience can be defined as disappointing. It's sad really, but it's the truth. I don't know exactly what I had in mind, but this isn't it. On the bright side I'm not quitting and I'm not depressed. I'm really trying my best. I've talked to other volunteers too and a lot of them say it takes a good year to really begin liking your community. I guess I'm not doing so bad, right? I've been living here about five months so far (excluding the time I was in the States). It's just scary to think things might not turn around for another seven months. Yikes. I just gotta keep pushing.

Also, I want to clarify. There are two really great teachers at the school that want to work with me and have their own ideas. It's great. I mean they're flakes sometimes too, but everyone here is at some point. Cultural immersion at its finest.

At least I have my cat. And yes, I'm probably that crazy cat lady, but at least I have just one.

A few other good things to mention: I've been getting some good packages lately thanks to some great relatives and I'm getting the Economist delivered to me right here in El Salvador. Hallelujah. I just got of the phone with a women from the post office in the capital who was confused why this American living in El Salvador didn't have a real address to get the magazine sent to and I had to explain that I live in rural El Salvador. She asked why and although I was tempted to say, "I have no idea," I explained myself. So, my first issue should be on its way very soon. Yay.